7 Things Becoming a Single Mom Has Taught Me

This is a hard post to write. Mainly because it's hard to admit to failures in life, generally. But also because sometimes it's even harder to find the successes in those failed ventures.

To back up a little, Living As We started as a way to share about my journey as I struggled to find a balance between finding me, while living as "we". At the beginning the "we" was three people. Now, Emily and I are busier than ever, finding our way just the two of us.

I never really got into much of my personal life on here. There was a good reason for that. I've wanted to try and keep this blog as my positive place. Somewhere I can go to share triumphs, discuss fears, and hopefully help a few people along the way. When a relationship is on its last legs there's not always going to be good things to say. So, I just chose to stay quiet.

Instead of being angry, I want to focus on the good that comes with the bad because being a single mom has been a very eye-opening experience. Here are some of the greatest lessons I've learned so far.

Don't be afraid to accept help. I have never been someone to ask for help, as much as I may have needed it. I always had the mindset that there was someone out there that needed help more. It's given me a lot of strength to learn that it's okay to ask for help, and taken more courage than I thought I had in me, to admit that I needed it.

Be Strong. This means so much. I'm talking mentally, physically....the works. Physically the toll on my body showed quickly. Not only does Emily's energy level seem to increase as she grows, but there is now only me to make sure all of that energy is exhausted. I've had to shift more of my focus into getting fit. Not only do I need to keep up but I need to be able to outlast her if I ever plan on getting any work done both on the blog, and in our home. I have to say that since I've started exercising I have more energy, I sleep better, feel better and look better. Emily loves it too! She joins right in, whether by hopping on my back while I'm planking or mimicking my squats.

 Being mentally and emotionally strong has become priority too. Simply because if I weren't, if I'm not, we won't make it. And that is not an option in my books. It takes a choice to be happy, to see the good in the bad, to find the positive instead of the negative. And when I can't see any of that, it means taking that negative and me turning it into something positive. It takes digging a little deeper than I ever thought possible because Emily and I deserve it.

Set a better example. We're working on our eating habits currently. I found myself asking why Emily asked for cookies, chips and chocolate for breakfast. Probably because I cared more about getting her a healthy meal. I'd forget to eat, and eventually grab for the "snacks" to hold me over. Of course she would want to do what I'm eating. In changing my habits, she's wanting to change hers. This goes for brushing our teeth, eating habits, exercising, washing hands, picking up toys, garbage, clothes...pretty much everything we do.

Own your mistakes. I am one of those people who tend to learn the hard way. Needless to say that's led to me having made a LOT of mistakes in my past. Who hasn't, right? The key has been admitting when I was wrong. All I can really do is apologize, show gratitude where it's deserved, and be a better person moving forward. That's exactly what I intend to do. Mistakes are important to make. As long as you learn from them and know not to repeat them, then it wasn't a waste of your time.

Be a better friend. Friends are something that I've not really pursued in a long time. When you move around every couple of years and suffer from pretty crippling anxiety/depression, the idea of friendship can be a daunting, fairly foreign topic. I love people (as much as I say I hate them). I love them. There are so many good people in this world. If I let all the bad peope in my life deter me from pursuing the good people that are out there, that is truly an injustice to myself and to others. I know now that I deserve friends, and that I have the ability to bring some good to others lives as well letting them bring some good to mine. Hold on to the good ones and don't let go. They are few and far between.

Be Honest. Capital H. To myself and to others. I think deep down we all know what's bothering us. I think it's a fear of the reaction and the unknown that makes so many of us bite our tongues. Just let it out people! If you know what's bothering you, talk about it. If you don't, well....talk about it! I'm sure you'll find the answers you're looking for if you start asking yourself the right questions. If you are holding something back, don't! If people can't deal with the truth, that's their problem. Face the truth, as hard as it seems. You'll feel a lot better. I don't mean be hurtful, but be honest. If you can't find something nice to say find a tactful way to express yourself. If you can change what is bothering you, do it. Even if it's a little bit each day. If you can't change it, be aware of that, and just let it go. Make that choice to put it out of your mind. Why? Because there's no point in worrying if you really can't do anything about it. Your brain will thank you. And that weight that you've been carrying around will get lighter and lighter as time passes.

Value your time. Life is worth living, and it is short. Make the best out of each day. Never take a day that you wake up for granted. Being alive is enough cause for celebration. So start celebrating your life, and make each of your days count.

I'm sure there will be a lot more along the way. But those are a few of the things that I've been grateful to learn through this time. I am finally excited to see what life holds for me and look forward to sharing as I go.

Feel free to follow along in any way you'd like (buttons are on the sidebar) if you want to keep up with my journey.  

Have you ever had to learn something the hard way?